Could it Be Any Harder?
by CharmingPhoebe
Summary: Song Fic -- P/C -- Takes Place at end of Long Live the Queen


Author's Notes and Disclaimer: This is a song fic that starts out with a scene originally written into the script for the Charmed season four episode "Long Live the Queen" but it never appeared in the episode. So, of course I don't own that, but I did write the script form into my own version of a story form. For that matter I don't own the song either. The song, "Could it be Any Harder", was written by Aaron Kamen and Alex Band and it is performed by The Calling. Yeah, and like you can assume I don't own Charmed or its characters either. Enjoy.   
  
  
  
  
She knew what she had to do, but could sh actually bring herself to do it?   
  
Phoebe entered the living room. She looked at her sisters. She looked at Cole. Then, she saw the fifth crystal lying outside of the circle and she leaned down to pick it up.   
  
Her heart breaking further with every move, she stood up again and locked eyes with Cole. He formed a fireball in his hands and spoke to her, "I'm sorry. It's for the best."   
  
Phoebe nodded and moved to his side.   
  
Piper couldn't believe it. Phoebe was choosing Cole over her sisters? "Phoebe?" She called out.   
  
Phoebe leaned closer to Cole and kissed him. Fighting tears, she quickly pulled away and dropped the crystal into place. She couldn't hold them back anymore. The tears began to drop from her eyes. "I'm sorry too." She told him with all of her heart.   
  
The fireball disappeared as Cole realized what was happening. "Phoebe, no!"   
  
Phoebe backed towards her sisters, unable to look away from him. Her lip trembled and the tears flowed from her eyes, nearly blinding her.   
  
Cole screamed and pleaded. "No!"   
  
"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry." Phoebe tried to blink back more tears as she took her sisters' hands.   
  
Piper began chanting, "Prudence, Penelope, Patricia, Melinda..."   
  
The real Cole took control for a moment, "Phoebe, I love you!" He had to tell her one last time.   
  
Phoebe could hardly go on, but she had to. "Astrid, Helena, Laura and Grace..."   
  
Glancing over at Phoebe, Paige continued as she started to cry as well. "Halliwell witches, stand strong beside us."   
  
Once more Cole shouted, "No!"   
  
Phoebe inhaled deeply and finished the spell. "Vanquish this evil from time and space!" It was done.   
  
Phoebe turned her head quickly and buried her face in Piper's shoulder so she couldn't see Cole explode into a burst of flames. There was a terrible silence as tears streamed down all three of the sisters' faces at the death of the man who was family.   
  
As the sisters clung to each other, a whisper came from the air, "Phoebe..."   
  
Phoebe looked up to see the transparent ghost of Cole, she sobbed and whispered his name in return. "Cole..."   
  
She pulled away from her sisters and moved toward him. She shook her head, not wanting to believe what she had just done.   
  
"It's okay. I'm going to be okay now." He assured her, even if she most likely wouldn't believe it.   
  
"I'm so sorry." She said for the thousandth time, but words couldn't express what she was feeling. She wanted him to hold her. She wanted to cry in his shoulder. She wanted everything to really be okay.   
  
He smiled sadly as he touched his finger to her lips, even though she didn't feel a thing. "Don't be." He told her quietly, "You set me free."   
  
You left me with goodbye and open arms   
A cut so deep I don't deserve   
You were always invincible in my eyes   
the only thing against us now is time   
  
In her room, Phoebe laid on her bed. She hadn't stopped crying yet. Cole had been her soul mate. He still was. She wasn't crying because he was gone, but because he wasn't gone in her heart. She still loved him and she had never thought it could come to this. Whatever happened to the man who wasn't hurt by anything? Anything but her that is. Now, she realized that she was the only one that could ever hurt him. Ironically, she was the only one he couldn't hurt.   
  
Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without you,   
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true   
If I only had one more day   
  
She griped the picture frame tightly. Staring down at the image of herself and Cole, she tried to control her tears but the landed on the glass. Her breathing started to slow down as she tried to calm down. It couldn't be any harder to lose someone. She had thought Prue's death was hard to take. But she'd see Prue again. The same couldn't be said for Cole though. Where would he end up? She didn't want to think he had to spend eternity in hell. Though, she knew he'd already been through it.   
  
I lie down and blind myself with laughter   
A quick fix of hope is what I'm needing   
And now I wish that I could turn back the hours   
But I know I just don't have the power   
  
She remembered the last time they had tried to turn back time. Cole had gotten the Source to turn back time, he was the one who had saved Piper's life. But she was the one who had caused Prue's death, and it was because she was with Cole. Cole's death was her fault as well. Maybe if she had listened to Paige things would be different. She laughed to herself at the way life worked. But she couldn't laugh for long.   
  
Could it be any harder to say goodbye without you   
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true   
If I only had one more day   
  
Phoebe shivered and held her sweater tightly around herself. She leaned back and starred up at the blank ceiling. Nothing in the world was enough to pay in to see him again. The fact was too realistic to deny. She would never see Cole again. But if she could…she could only imagine.   
  
I'd jump at the chance   
We'd drink and we'd dance   
and I'd listen close to your every word,   
As if it's your last, I know it's your last,   
Cause today, now you're gone   
  
His voice. She'd never hear it again. Another wave of tears rushed down her face. She didn't want to forget him. Her lip was starting to swell from all of times she had bit on it. She had to move on, but at the same time she didn't want to. Though there was no other way. They tried it being good. They tried it being evil. Nothing had worked.   
  
Could it be any harder   
Fade away, fade away...   
Could it be any harder   
Oh yeah   
  
She still had his baby. But was it really his? It had to be, she wouldn't let it belong to the Source. The pit in her stomach scared her. What if it was just an evil spawn of the Source? The damn Source. She hated him even more than she had hated him before, which she had never thought possible, until now. No. It was Cole's. The baby had to be Cole's. She wouldn't let it be any other way. But then again, things never turn out the way they're supposed to.  
  
Could it be any harder   
To live my life without you   
Could it be any harder   
I'm all alone I'm all alone   
  
Why was love never enough? It wasn't fair. Life was never fair, but it was also never unfair in her favor.   
  
Like sand on my feet   
The smell of sweet perfume   
You stick to me forever, baby   
  
She couldn't forget him. Moving on with her life was such a hard thing to do.   
  
And I wish you didn't go,   
I wish you didn't go, I wish you didn't go away   
  
Why did it have to happen this way? Why hadn't she let Cole give up the Source's powers? He was about to! Everything could have turned out okay in the end…   
  
To touch you again,   
With life in your hands,   
  
There wasn't anything she'd rather do. Why couldn't he just come back and hold her? Why couldn't she just have one more kiss?   
  
It couldn't be any harder...   
Fade away, fade away, fade away, fade away, oh 


End file.
